Living with someone with depression

When my friend, Eliza, was allowed to go home after 3 months in a neuropsychiatric institute, her only sister who should have taken of her didn't understand her, and she told me that Eliza was wrecking her nerves. I volunteered to get her home. The moment we were inside, she cried, saying, "I can not describe how I feel to my sister, she'll never understand, and the same with you, no one will ever understand!" She added that there are not enough words to describe how she feels, how to tell people how her mind keeps on revolving so fast, that she could not stop. How she feels when she can't put herself to sleep. How to tell what she feels when she's agitated.

I tried my best to understand her. And then I also felt depressed when my father died, I joined her in her hourly struggles.

I am telling you: it is so hard living with someone who is suffering from severe depression. For sure, you will be affected and the normalcy of living is disrupted. I have witnesses this first hand when I stayed with my brother whose wife is having a bout with depression.

Actually, my brother had a series with depression.

Of course, to see him suffering was extremely depressing for us too. He has always been the center of laughter, leadership and good morals for us (his younger siblings).

It took him 6 months to recover (during those 6 months, he was only in his bed).

He was not speaking but he was such a blabber mouth since then. He would share stories, talk about funny stuffs and the rest.

It all started in highschool. He was not excelling very well but he is a really intelligent person. He knows coding, he can make and modify games from scratch, he would create funny flash animations to entertain us, etc. I guess schooling really bored him. So, he cut classes because his teachers were more focusing on profit programs which really wasted a lot of time for the other students too.

We really thought we were already losing him when he was only in his bed. But one day, he just stood up and went to the computer. He Googled things about 'depression' and how come he was only in his bed all that time.

Last night, at a party, I just told him that 'Laughter is the best medicine, right?'

Well, this time, he's just there hanging around. He's also a smoker so it's really quite hard. He says he wants to quit it already so we also encourage him to stop. Just do other things!

I hope, somehow, this counts as an answer.

One mistake I committed was not understanding his state. I was never a mature person back then so I didn't really understood it all. I just stood there hating my older brother. As time passed by, I started becoming ashame of him. That didn't help as it also contributed to his depression. So, please, understand the person and just bring joy and happiness. He/She might think that 'no one understands me'. No, that's not true. Medications aren't going to help either. Tablets? No, no. They can only soothe you for once but the pain is still there. Remember: 'Laughter and happiness are the best medicines in the world, aren't they? '

Best wishes to everyone!

My ex husband has depression issues and it's one of the reasons we could not be together. I tolerated it and tried as much as I could to help him before we had kids but after we had them I put a stop to it. There was no way I was going to let my kids see their daddy drunk and trying to kill himself. He had a horrible childhood that he has never talked to anyone about except for me. I always advised him to seek real help but I don't think he realizes how bad it is. He has also gotten into a number of bad situations because of his depression and personality issues. The whole time I was with him I felt trapped and scared. Trapped because he was my husband, I loved him and I could not just abandon him. Scared that he might hurt himself or me. I am glad that I got myself out of that situation for the sake of my kids even though it hurt me very much to leave him.

A person close to me currently has depression. It's very hard to talk to her when her depression kicks in. She has tried numerous times to commit suicide, so close monitoring was needed. I panicked really hard when I got a call from her in the hospital! You could not really imagine my reaction then. Today, however, I am proud to say that her status is getting better. She has close relatives and friends who are also her strong support systems, so whenever her anti-depressants don't really work, being with people she loves really helps.

My mother suffers from some kind of depression. For most of my childhood she chose to wallow in her own self pity and not bother with the whole being a mom thing. So I certainly don't have a close relationship with her now. In fact other than a Christmas card, we don't communicate. I realize her behavior is a result of a disease, but she made no effort to get help, which I would think a parent would try to do. According to my Dad, she pretty much hasn't changed much. He won't make her get help because he's whipped, and he withdraws into his work so he can pretend everything is normal.

I find it extremely difficult to live with someone who is depressed and/or pessimistic about everything. It can be very emotionally draining. Personally...I'm hypersensitive and I don't think I could live with a depressed individual at this time in my life.

If the depressed person could learn to manage it, the situation would be much more bearable. I am sometimes very depressed but I try to find something to look forward to throughout the day. I also like to find non-judgmental people to talk to and I like to find activities I enjoy to keep me busy. My writing career keeps me above water too.

I've been on either side. When I first dated my husband, he sank into a pretty major depression and it was very hard and tiring for me. I got him to go to therapy and we have both benefited greatly from it. I think having an understanding of it helps a lot. I've taken counseling and psychology courses too, and it's been very helpful.