If I ever find out someone has lied to me, it's hard to trust them again. I try to give the benefit of the doubt if they have a very good excuse or if the thing they lied about was never really any of my business in the first place. But, if it's a really big lie, like something that cost me money or hurt my family in some way, then I do tend to hold a grudge. How does it make you feel when you find out someone is lying to you?
I stop trusting them and I keep a distance. A few years ago I was very good friends with a coworker who was very outgoing, funny, similar background as me, she liked to do the same things I liked such as eating out, going to the movies, going to the beach, etc so we got along wonderfully, we did many things together until I started catching her in little lies, she will tell me one thing today and the next week she will tell me a different story. It always seemed that she was embelishing the truth, and soon I realized that it was all lies. Eventually I found out that she had done the same thing to other people at the office, fibbing about her life and what her family did or what she had, always saying things to make herself look good.. anyway, she went from being my best friend to just an acquaintance- Why would I want to waste my time with someone who I cannot trust and always have to wonder if what they are telling me the truth? Not worth it. I felt lied to, betrayed and upset but I got over it quickly.. life goes on!
Well of course I feel betrayed and it is hard for me to trust them again. But it also makes it harder for me to trust other people when I meet someone new. Like with my ex husband, there was a lot of lies and hurt so now that I am wanting to start dating again it is harder for me to trust a stranger.
I really hate people that blatantly lie to me and often ditch them after it has come out that they have been lying. One person who was my closest friend who was going to be my children's God Parent really told a megga lie and since I found out and confronted her, she is no longer part of our family or friend circle. I know that there is one other person that is lying to me now but I am holding out to make sure before I confront him over it.
Really, I do understand your point of view over this situation. A lie is a lie and if it's hurting you or your family or costing you money, then you have to put a stop to it. What else can you do but cut that person out, especially if they won't stop lying. As for the other situation you mentioned, I hope it works out in your favor. Sometimes, people lie to you cause it's more convenient for them and suits their purposes. Of course, I'm speaking generally as I don't know the details of the situation you are in. Thanks for sharing.
I don't find it easy to trust people that much. Gaining my trust is hard and breaking it is very easy to be done. I usually never trust anyone again if ever they lie to me... I mean, I find out their reason for lying first. After that, I discern whether or not to give them another chance.
I'll find it difficult to believe him next time. I'll probably end up distrusting every word that comes from his mouth... or doubt most of 'em... I will only believe it when another person (credible) vouch for the accuracy of his/her story. Recovering your trust for that person... the same amount or level of trust you had first for him/her will be difficult.
I know what you mean! Once you find out that someone lied to you, you begin doubting that person. Sometimes, I find myself asking and going back, is this the first time, or did she already lie to me last time but I just didn't realize it?
True. You just start to doubt stuff she said recently. The accuracy of the stories he/she told you and if there were any truth or part truth in them or twas just a make up story I was lead on. I guess, no matter how much I want to give that trust back... it'll be difficult. Really hard.
Chances are, that person has been lying to you from the start, you're just now finding out about the deception. And, you have to reexamine everything they said to see if there was really any truth in it. A lying friend makes you question your own judgment as in how could I have been so gullible as to trust her when she was so obviously lying. You start to doubt yourself. That's the biggest betrayal of all.
I take every lie I discover very personally. At the most basic level it is a betrayal. I don't know about other people but I put ultimate trust in everyone I associate with, I just can't believe that they would lie. Of course deep down I know its inevitable, but I don't want to find out when they do. If a lie is discovered, it often leads to mistrust for a long period of time. If the lie was bad enough, I would probably end the relationship.
It makes me loose all trust for that one person. It really hurts me to find out that a close person to me would lie to me. It would kill me on the inside, but would act tough on the outside.
It really depends on the situation. If they were just trying to protect my feelings, then I'm not terribly hurt about it. On the other hand, if they were doing it to be horrible I wouldn't trust them any longer.
It depends on the why, who, and what. And maybe when as well. If the lying reveals betrayal, then it would be hard to rebuild my trust on that person.
I agree that once trust is broken it is very hard to gain back. Because once that trust has broken it is hard to believe anything that person says. You begin to question everything they say and do. When that happens it's time to sever the relationship with them. It is not healthy for you.
It depends on the gravity of lying. But for worst cases, I just act civil out of respect but don't treat them like it used to be. Sometimes, it is better to distance and closed your world from these people than pretending that it is still okay.
