The Evolution of Mom

Discussion in 'Jokes & Humor' started by debs, May 30, 2011.


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    The Evolution of Mom

    Yes, parenthood changes everything. But parenthood also changes with each baby. Here, some of the ways having a second and third child differs from having your first:

    Your Clothes -

    1st baby: You begin wearing maternity clothes as soon as your OB/GYN confirms your pregnancy.

    2nd baby: You wear your regular clothes for as long as possible.

    3rd baby: Your maternity clothes are your regular clothes.

    The Baby's Name -

    1st baby: You pore over baby-name books and practice pronouncing and writing combinations of all your favorites.

    2nd baby: Someone has to name their kid after your great-aunt Mavis, right? It might as well be you.

    3rd baby: You open a name book, close your eyes, and see where your finger falls. Bimaldo? Perfect!

    Preparing for the Birth -

    1st baby: You practice your breathing religiously.

    2nd baby: You don't bother practicing because you remember that last time, breathing didn't do a thing.

    3rd baby: You ask for an epidural in your 8th month.

    The Layette -

    1st baby: You prewash your newborn's clothes, color-coordinate them, and fold them neatly in the baby's little bureau.

    2nd baby: You check to make sure that the clothes are clean and discard only the ones with the darkest stains.

    3rd baby: Boys can wear pink, can't they?

    Worries -

    1st baby: At the first sign of distress - a whimper, a frown - you pick up the baby.

    2nd baby: You pick the baby up when her wails threaten to wake your firstborn.

    3rd baby: You teach your 3-year-old how to rewind the mechanical swing.

    Activities -

    1st baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics, Baby Swing, and Baby Story Hour.

    2nd baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics.

    3rd baby: You take your infant to the supermarket and the dry cleaner.

    Going Out -

    1st baby: The first time you leave your baby with a sitter, you call home 5 times.

    2nd baby: Just before you walk out the door, you remember to leave a number where you can be reached.

    3rd baby: You leave instructions for the sitter to call only if she sees blood.

    At Home -

    1st baby: You spend a good bit of every day just gazing at the baby.

    2nd baby: You spend a bit of every day watching to be sure your older child isn't squeezing, poking, or hitting the baby.

    3rd baby: You spend a little bit of every day hiding from the children.

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