decided to burn lots of calories today so I set a fat kid on fire! WARNING: Objects in mirror are fatter than they appear. I think my girlfriend has had sixty-one boyfriends before me. She calls me her sixty second lover. If guys had periods, they’d brag about the size of their tampons. Statistically 5/4 of people have trouble with fractions. Doctors waiting room needs some music. And better lighting. And more women. And a pole in the middle of the room. And a buffet. Sometimes? Late at night? I rearrange traffic signs. People need to be challenged. If women ruled the world there would be no wars. Just a bunch of jealous countries not talking to each other.
